Think waaaaay back to those early years when it felt like all of life revolved around just the two of you… well, unfortunately they’re gone. Jobs, a mortgage, kids, responsibilities – sometimes it feels like everything is against a romance-filled marriage. Is it possible to find that romance again?
Let’s all face it, you’re not the same couple that you used to be. Life has changed both of you. Your marriage has changed, too. Even romance will look a little different these days. But that doesn’t mean a fulfilling romantic marriage is a lost dream. In fact, happily married couples know that romance really only gets better with time when you’re intentional about protecting it! Here are just a few tips to help reignite the romance in your marriage:
This is key to improving your marriage. Being able to talk to each other and actually hear each other solves so many problems inside of marriage. Sure, you may argue, but fight fair. Have real, meaningful conversations without judgement or snide remarks. After several years of marriage, it’s easy to think we know everything about each other. We stop communicating, and over time we no longer know each other at all! Start talking! And just as important – listen.
Make time for each other.
Another huge reason romance vanishes from a marriage is because we simply get too busy for each other. It’s not something we do intentionally, but life happens. What we do need to be intentional about is carving out that time to spend time together. Put date night on the calendar. Commit to catching up at the end of each day. Whatever it looks like for you, prioritize each other.
Playing games together can relieve stress and open up lines of communication. It can tear down those invisible walls and lend to lots of healing laughs. Play can also look like doing something adventurous together like hiking up a mountain or scuba diving. It can be signing up for a race together or playing badminton. Get active and play together.
Spontaneous sex is great, but the job and the kids and life in general can sometimes make spontaneous sex feel more like a chore. Scheduling it will allow both of you to be prepared and anticipate it. You’ll more easily be able to prioritize it because it’s on the schedule. Before you scoff at the idea, give it a try. I’m confident you’ll be pleasantly surprised by the benefits of regularly scheduled sex.
How often do you hold hands? Do you kiss and hug without it having to lead to something more? What about the occasional backrub? Affection can so easily be lost through the years of marriage. The touch of his hand may not send that spark of electricity up your arm like it used to, but your love for each other runs so much deeper than that. Your bond is so much stronger. Nurture it with affectionate touch.
The romantic spark isn’t dead and gone. It just needs a little encouragement to burst back into a bright, burning flame. Over the years, as you stoke that flame, the heat only grows stronger and hotter. Nothing will be able to quench it. Your marriage will be one for the ages.